-by Ketika Kasetwar, Feb 2026

Every tool needs to be learned before it can be used well. Kids learn how to hold a pencil first and then practice writing with it. They first learn to balance and then practice paddling to pick up speed while learning to bicycle. And learn about the different parts of a musical instrument before playing the first set of notes, just as they learn the alphabet and associated sounds before forming words.

The internet is no different. It is a powerful tool, not a shortcut, not a babysitter, not a replacement for thinking, not a teacher, not a partner in crime and definitely not a monster.

When I hear all the discussions around ‘correct usage of screen time’ or ‘how effectively’ some parents have kept their children away from all digital devices, I often wonder – is it right to control it? Just like we help our kids learn various life skills, why can’t we look at the internet and its usage in the same light? I feel that like any tool, it demands skills, awareness, and continuous practice. To ensure that one learns to keep control over a tool, not the other way around. Children don’t automatically know how to use it wisely just because they are born into a digital world. And how many adults actually know this? Digital responsibility is something we learn slowly, consciously, and imperfectly, through everyday choices, conversations, and reflection. And as always, kids learn from adults

As a parent, I see the internet as an assistant, a helper in our learning journey. When combined with conversations and real-life experiences, it has opened up spaces for exposure, curiosity, exploration, and learning that were unimaginable when I was a child. And a few that I could not even imagine existed!! Initially I was getting pulled towards becoming one of those ‘no screen-time’ parent. But luckily over time, realised something important: it is not about how much screen time my daughter gets, it is about what she does with that time. Mindless scrolling, endless feeds and passive consumption don’t support learning or well-being. They just fill up minutes without meaning, for kids and adults alike. But conscious usage of internet, leads to increase in exposure, continued learning, finding interests, connecting with intellect peers and just finding more avenues to have fun.

Let me explain this with examples. Without internet, we couldn’t have got an opportunity to watch Koalas being taken care of through a daily live feed during Covid. Internet brought me a global programme, that my daughter could pursue without stepping out of home. The reels taught my daughter how to build her own dressing style and experiment with clothes. And a few influencers taught her how the make-up industry works. Where a few vlogs taught us the brilliance of ancient Indian architecture, the short videos on different foreign regions led us to discuss the commonalities and differences. We save content, show each other and discuss – on topics ranging from space to depths of ocean, fashion to food, external development to inner growth and from science to art to culture to heritage to everything!!!

From the moment my daughter started holding a mobile and/or a building tablet, we started having open conversations about screens. We talked about how devices work, why they are designed to capture attention, and how we can avoid becoming their slaves. These discussions didn’t happen once. They happened often, as part of everyday conversations. Because I did not want her to be scared of the big-bad-world of internet, but be aware of all possibilities of the content out there, so that she can confidently keep herself safe.

I also realised something about adult digital habits. Parents cannot expect their children to manage screens well when they themselves are glued to them. Yes, adults need them for getting through daily life today – bills, news, appointments, shopping, work, scheduling, etc. But can’t they work on themselves to build healthy digital habits.

It’s easy to pick up the phone and scroll, for all of us. Screens are designed to be addictive. But children learn from our patterns more than our words. If they see us doom-scrolling when bored or anxious, that becomes part of what normal behaviour looks like. So, parents need to first look inward. We need to examine our own digital habits before questioning the ‘screen time’ of kids. We need to ask: Am I a present parent – physically, mentally and emotionally? Am I intentional? Am I modelling the kind of relationship with technology that I want my child to grow into?

When I started thinking on those lines, I realised that more than teaching healthy digital practices, it was equally important for me to follow them. Not by any external control, but by internalizing conscious practices that laid the path for staying in control of internet usage. For us, this meant creating family strategies that prioritise presence and connection. We follow a strict 3-hour daily digital detox time – no screens during the time we prepare and have dinner together. That time is for conversations, laughter, shared stories, and cooking together. And personally, I choose to stay off WhatsApp from Friday 6 pm until Monday 9 am. That boundary has given me the necessary mental clarity and more space for focusing on my priorities that truly matter.

We don’t demonise screens. We use them intentionally. We choose content that invites curiosity, creativity, health, or joy. We ask questions like: Is this helping you think? Create? Connect? Understand? And we balance screen moments with play, reading, walks, family trips and attending various events.

Internet/Screens will continue to be part of our children’s lives, whether we like it or not. The real work is not in fighting them, but in learning how to live with them wisely. That learning starts at home, in small everyday choices, honest conversations, and the examples we set for our children. When we stay involved in how screens are being used, reflect on our own habits, and create simple boundaries that support balance, we slowly build digital confidence, not fear. And that, in the long run, matters far more than counting ‘screen-time’.

P.S.: We are now at a stage, where my daughter has total control over her screen-time, as she is self-regulating it. Phone away in another room while studying as a homeschooler, fixed gaming time of 2 hrs every day ( I can’t disturb/interfere with it at all) and a quick 10 min catch-up on InShorts to know all that has happened around the world in a day before bedtime, are a few examples. I can clearly see the results of helping kids pick up skills to build a strong foundation for their own digital wellbeing.